


there was one thing missing

by wrote_my_way_out



Category: 19th Century CE RPF, The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 17:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14454519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrote_my_way_out/pseuds/wrote_my_way_out
Summary: You should’ve been hereAnd I would’ve been so happy





	there was one thing missing

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Taylor Swift's "The Moment I Knew"
> 
> Apologies for the blatant disregard for historical fact.
> 
> much love for my beta reader blanye

Charity Barnum was never the type to protest her husband’s endeavors. She believed in him and his ideas wholeheartedly. When he said he wanted to start a museum, she had her doubts but went along with it. When he began a circus, she was confused, to say the least, but she supported him. And when he said he was going across the country with Jenny Lind, well, she smiled and let him. It killed her inside, but she let him. Raising two daughters was hard enough on her when Phineas spent every waking hour at that godforsaken circus, but Charity found it even harder to talk to her girls about why their daddy wasn’t home. She wanted to seem strong, invincible, and she maintained a good poker face. When the girls were asleep, though, she would dance through the halls of the home Phineas had bought for them and sing softly. (He had bought it without her approval, but he had meant well.) It was those moments that made her heart ache for him the most.

Charity couldn’t understand why Phineas felt the need to buy such a large house when there were only four of them. She knew from growing up in a big house that they were truly not worth all the glamour applied to them. However, she also knew that Phineas came from a different world than her. Hers was a world of preparatory academies and debutante balls, while his was a world of begging and picking up whatever work he could find. Her father had insisted that theirs was a love comparable to that of a fish and bird. Perhaps they loved one another, but where could they possibly make their home together? Of course, Charity had insisted she was determined to love Phineas in poverty or wealth, she simply wasn’t prepared for the wealth aspect. She had always been told that wealth changed a person, and she refused to believe it for the majority of her life, but she had learned that the philosophy was true, as the Phineas she married was not the Phineas who was hundreds of miles away with another woman.

Charity was no stranger to rumors, but the whispers of her fellow mothers when she attended dance recitals bit like steel. The fear of her husband being unfaithful had crept into her mind many times, and having others validate that fear did not make her feel better. When she heard the voices, though, she would simply smile as she knew those women had unfaithful husbands. Her good Christian upbringing brought about some guilt for her actions, but part of her knew they deserved it. They deserved it for the rumors, for the snickering and for the tears her daughter shed over the words of their daughters.

Perhaps the rumors were what made her heartbreak all the more insufferable when that damned newspaper printed a picture of them. Jenny Lind, with her hands on Phineas, their lips locked in what appeared to be a kiss reciprocated by both parties. Charity stared at the paper, her hands violently shaking. She wanted to doubt it, but she knew deep down that it was absolutely real. She remembered the look in Barnum’s eyes the first time he heard that woman sing. He was awed, though whether by the Swedish Nightingale’s beauty or vocal prowess, Charity was never completely sure. However, once she saw that picture, she knew. She heard one of the girls calling for her, but her mind was miles away in Cincinnati. While she partially longed for Barnum to return home, she also never wanted to see him again.

Eventually, Charity was able to compose herself and descend the stairs, going to her children. After a moment, she remembered that the girls had a ballet recital that night. She excused herself to get dressed for the recital, swallowing the lump in her throat. She selected a simple pink dress, the first expensive thing Phineas had indulged in with his money from the circus. His smile had been so wide as he had given her the box. 

“Something special for you, my love,” he had said, that same old sparkle in his eye. She had loved it, of course, as she had loved everything her husband had to offer. She ran her fingers along the soft material, her vision becoming blurry once more. Charity couldn’t understand what the other woman had that she didn’t. She didn’t know why Phineas was so desperate to rise up. All she knew was the pain in her heart as she fastened her dress alone. 

Charity returned to her daughters before taking them both to the venue of the dance recital. She avoided the judgmental stares of others, focusing only on her precious girls. Every so often, though, one woman’s scarlet hair or another’s white gown adorned with gems would remind Charity of what she no longer had. Her hands shook as she walked with her children, keeping her head up and her eyes forward. A woman Charity vaguely recognized approached her, touching her arm and apologizing. Charity pretended not to notice her at all and continued to walk. She wanted to focus on her children, not the man she once loved.

Letting the girls go to where they needed to be, Charity found a seat in the audience. As the room filled with people, loud and anxious, the seat beside Charity never did. She glanced at it once or twice, cursing herself for never arguing, never telling him no. The music began, the girls of the dance studio coming onto the stage. Charity watched, feeling more alone than she ever had. She attempted to hold back tears, but between her husband’s betrayal and the other mothers’ glances and comments, she could no longer conceal her emotions. The first tear that rolled down her cheek felt like fire igniting her skin. The two hours of the recital felt as if they were the longest two hours of her life.

After the recital, Charity went home with the girls, having frantically wiped the tears from her cheeks in an attempt to spare her children from seeing her in such a state. When they reached home, there was a carriage in front of the steps to the door. Charity swallowed hard as she realised Phineas’ luggage was on the porch. She approached the house with her daughters, hands shaking. Caroline and Helen broke away from their mother and ran into their home, hugging their father. Charity entered a few minutes after the girls, staring at Phineas. He looked at her with eyes full of sadness. His shirt was singed and his face was coated in ash.

“I’m sorry,” he said, not elaborating. Was he sorry for leaving? For being unfaithful? Was he sorry that he had put his family second to his work again? Was he sorry for all of it?

“I’m sorry, too,” Charity whispered flatly, every ounce of strength left in her gone.

**Author's Note:**

> comment if you loved it, comment if you hated it


End file.
